New Additions

Hello Everyone!
I have some big news! It's so big my heart's rolling in my chest. There are two new additions to my family. I know what you are thinking-no I did not get pregnant that one drunken night in Antarctica nine months ago. Instead I have adopted again. This time it is a Jade plant named Jade (I know very creative) and a cat named Snowball (bet you can't guess what color she is). I'm sure many of you are wondering how Juicebox is handling this. He's been an only child for....5 years now.
I would love to tell you he hugged Snowball and smiled at Jade but that would be a lie. I thought he was hugging Snowball but it was actually Juicebox strangling her. As for Jade, I asked him to water Jade yesterday and he added a liquid alright-urine. It was not his finest hour. So today I had to go to UCSB yet again (I feel like I should enroll there) and I only took Juicebox because I thought we needed to talk. And you'll never guess what we saw-two women going at it by the arts building. Juicebox jumped up for joy while I walked in the other direction.
I set up my camera and saw Juicebox was over with the lesbians talking. He told them about how he was a homosexual too and then he talked about Trip. Then the lesbians invited him on a double date. I never did have the talk with Juicebox though because he kept talking about what he was going to wear on his date (then I informed him that he is always naked). As for now, I'm trying to keep them as far away from eachother as possible.
Hope everyone is having a swell day!